Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
