Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
