12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
