my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
