You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
