sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
