I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
