Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
