You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
