i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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