chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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