I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
