I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
