the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
