If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
