He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize