Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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