i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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