pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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