I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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