I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like death gave me a hand job
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
