i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
