Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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