chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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