:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
