so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
