I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
