Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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