he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
