I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
