We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
