Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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