Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
