i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
