Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
