dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
