There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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