i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
