i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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