I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
