I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
soo... how was my night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
