I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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