you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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