This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
