it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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