He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
