You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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