i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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