Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
