Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
