I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
