I cannot find my penis.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she looked like the before picture.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The Olympian is in my bed
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
