RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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