Pants 0. Shit 1.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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