oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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