i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
