he puts the penis in happiness.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
