I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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