You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
