Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
