I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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