Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize