Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
