okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
